Herschel Floyd O’Hara, born December 4th, 2019 at 1:44 am. He weighed a beautiful 8 pounds 3 ounces and was 21.3 inches long. He was everything we could have ever wanted and then some! I had every intentions of sharing my pregnancy journey with you (definitely slacked on the end of my pregnancy, but it was a rough ride!), which included his birth story. After it was all said and done and he was finally in my arms, I had second thoughts about sharing the experience… We didn’t get the typical delivery where baby is pushed out vaginally, has his first cry, and placed on my chest for our first skin to skin bonding. It was honestly a very traumatic experience that took me awhile to come to terms with and to be okay with what happened. But now that the postpartum anxiety has subsided and I’ve had time to talk it through with family and friends, I know it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I couldn’t have controlled what happened and God was with us that morning in the delivery room looking over our sweet baby. We are so incredibly blessed it wasn’t anything worse than it was! Some people aren’t as lucky… but what is important is that our little boy is THRIVING, recovered quickly, and we’re all together as a family!
Jared and I arrived at the hospital around 9 pm that Monday so I could start my induction. I had already gone past my due date and was almost 41 weeks! Herschel had NO intentions of coming out on his own and I was so miserable and ready to get the show on the road. I was having mild contractions all day, but had no idea that that was what they were until they had me hooked up to the monitor. They inserted a cervidill to promote dilation a little bit more naturally at first. I was 2.5 centimeters dilated when I went in to be induced. The next morning, my mom and mother-in-law came to be present for the birth. All was fine and dandy, easy going, just waiting for baby to come. When my doctor FINALLY came in to check me (around 1pm the next day) I was dilated to a 3. In the middle of her checking me, that is when my water broke! And let me tell you this…when your water breaks, it’s on! Contractions come on full force and you’re in intense labor. This is when they started me on pitocin to keep the contractions regular. At this point, everything is still normal and moving along perfectly. I had a monitor facing me at all times where I could see when contractions were coming and with Herschel’s heart rate visible.
I knew I wanted to hold out as long as I could without the epidural in hopes that it wouldn’t slow my progress down, but I had all intentions of getting an epidural because I knew if you couldn’t relax a bit from contractions that it could actually prolong your labor. Your body does best if you find a way to calm yourself and give your body rest! I only lasted like 15 minutes before asking for the epidural (lol), but it felt like a LIFETIME! Once the epidural was given to me, the pain subsided, and I attempted to get some rest. I honestly couldn’t get any sleep because I was so eager to meet my baby! I think I might have gotten 30 minutes total of shut eye. An important side note is that my hospital allowed you to distribute more of the epidural every 10 minutes as needed. So if I felt like it was wearing off, I just pushed a button to numb me up again. Remember that for a later note… 😅
When my nurse came in around 11 pm, I asked her if she would check me to see if I was close enough to push. I was 9 cm dilated, but almost 10, so that’s when we started some practice pushes. Shortly after that, she said she would go get the midwife (a midwife delivered Herschel because my doctor was not on call) and it was time to push that baby out! We were all taking bets on what time he would be born, and everyone fully expected him to be born before the day was up. We were obviously wrong (lol). Jared and my mom had to hold my legs while I pushed, and I got the hang of it pretty quickly! The epidural wore off a bit (because I hadn’t pushed the button in awhile) and at the end of my pushing, I could feel everything… I pushed for 2 and a half hours and I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t out yet. I’m basically screaming and crying like crazy because I could feel all the pressure and pain from pushing. This is when everything took a turn for the worse. In the middle of frantically pushing, I heard the midwife tell the nurse to call the NICU, the baby’s heart rate is increasing.
Shortly after that, multiple nurses were in my room, Jared and my mom were pushed out of the way and now random nurses were holding my legs up. They got the little box out with all the utensils used to revive a baby and the lights were turned up to bright. This all was happening so fast and I wasn’t fully myself in my own body from extreme exhaustion and the adrenaline pumping through me. But I heard the midwife say his heart rate was racing and he was in distress and I did what a mommy does; I did whatever It took to save my baby. I didn’t take breaths and I pushed until I thought I was breaking all my bones, and out he came. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice and he had shoulder dystocia which basically means he was too big for the birth canal and got stuck. So while he was stuck and I was pushing extra hard to get him out, the umbilical cord was working even harder sucking him back in.
After he was pulled out and the cord was cut immediately, they placed him on my stomach for only a second before removing him and taking him to the little baby box. He was blue and there was no crying. I was in utter despair, crying and praying harder than I ever have. The nurse who was present my whole labor held my hand tight while I cried into Jared’s chest. The only thing going through my head was “I don’t know what I would do if he doesn’t make it.” I see a nurse lift his little hand up and it fall right back down as if he were lifeless. And that’s when I heard it; the most beautiful cry you could ever hear come from the most precious baby. My heart just sank and I yelped with relief that my baby was okay. Everything had happened in a span of 5 minutes; that’s how quickly things can take a turn. They handed him over for me to hold for a minute before taking him to the NICU for further observations. He was so perfect and everything I had just endured was nothing compared to the amount of love and joy I was feeling holding him.
I never wanted to share the first few photos I had of my sweet baby because honestly they were too hard to see. But now I look back at them and smile at how strong he was those first few days of life in the NICU. I am so thankful for that sweet babe, and again, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. There is nothing I could have done differently to prevent it from happening and he is still the same Herschel no matter how he got here. I apologize for the lengthy post, but no matter how difficult the experience was, I want to remember it because that was the day my son was born. 💙